Preserving people’s dignity is an important element of human existence. Preserving the dignity of those who rely on others for their care can improve the outlook of their overall health and wellbeing, as it encourages purpose and independence. We all appreciate knowing we are worthy of respect and honor, and I deem it especially important to recognize the competency, intelligence and independence potential of seniors who require some additional help.
It often is easier for caregivers to do everything for the loved ones in their care, including making all decisions for them. I generally could accomplish tasks more quickly if I did them myself and made decisions for my parents. However, doing that is not what’s best for them or for me. It’s better to preserve dignity by encouraging loved ones to actively participate in daily living activities and for the caregiver to make decisions with their input and based on previously known or expressed preferences. This helps preserve the dignity of the person receiving care and reduces decision fatigue (and plain-old fatigue) for the caregiver.
STILL IN THE GAME’
My brother and I were having a conversation recently, as we often do, about our parents. We were discussing changes we’d noticed (progress and regress), quirks and funny moments
In discussing something I’d done for daddy that required more effort from me than it should have, my brother said that I could have done it more easily if I had done it differently. He was trying to help reduce my load and stress, as the brunt of the responsibility rests on me.
I agreed, but I told him I’d considered their preferences and what they’d done for themselves in the past and tried to do the same to show respect and remind them that they are still “in the game” of life. He paused and considered my response.
You see, it can be easy to forget that those in our care are real people with feelings and desires although they need our help. However, there must be balance between the two. Adhering strictly to their wants and wishes shouldn’t hamper care or create an undue hardship for the caregiver. However, eliminating opportunities for them to make decisions about themselves and their care does not help preserve their dignity.
This is all easier said than done, but I try hard to show proper deference to them as often as possible.
A LITTLE RESPECT GOES A LONG WAY
Admittedly, I have not always been in this mindset. As a novice caregiver, I often made everything easy on myself until I noticed the impact that had on them. I vowed to treat them better — with more dignity and respect.
Here are some things I do to help preserve my parents’ dignity:
- I give them choice even when they rather not choose.
- I encourage independence even when it means it takes longer to accomplish a task.
- I remember who they are to me and respect them as my parents although the roles have mostly been swapped.
- I demand that others be respectful of and to them.
- I emphasize my parents’ strengths and abilities to others so they also can encourage their independence.
- I explain the “why” behind processes and decisions to help them understand what is going on and why things are being done a certain way.
As a caregiver, and just as a fellow human being, a little respect can go a long way.