Gulf Coast Woman

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    Get gardening!

    When planning my home garden and landscape, I love to combine different plants in containers. My basic practice is to follow the thriller, filler and spiller recipe. The thriller plants are upright and grow taller than the rest, adding interest and excitement. The spillers are low-growing plants that sprawl out and over the container edges. […]

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    How to cool your spending as temperatures rise

    From Navigator Credit Union Get ready for lazy days and fun getaways! Summer is right around the corner. Unfortunately, summer spending can leave wallets empty come fall. Here are some smart ways you can cool down some common expenses: Conserve on fuel Gas prices are rising, and there’s no relief in sight. Even if you’re […]

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    The May Day Project 2022

    For the third year, we at Gulf Coast Woman have partnered with the leading mental health experts on the Coast to bring you the May Day project — a resource we hope will guide and inspire you in your mental health journey. We hear you, and you don’t need to suffer in silence. Overcoming caregiver […]

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    Mental Health Resource Directory 2022

    Adrienne’s House

    (228) 762-8267

    http://www.gccfn.org/

    Adrienne’s House is the secondary domestic violence shelter of the Gulf Coast Center for Nonviolence, offering temporary emergency shelter; individual counseling for adults and children; group counseling for residential and nonresidential clients; case management; legal/court advocacy and a civil legal services legal clinic.

     

    Advanced Psychotherapy Associates

    (228) 897-7730

    www.facebook.com/pages/Advanced-Psychotherapy-Associates/148268688550197

    Specializes in psychology and psychiatry.

     

    Alexa Morales clinical social work/therapist LCSW, ACSW

    (228) 331-3310

    www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/alexa-morales-gulfport-ms/75367

    Morales is a social worker and therapist specializing in social work, psychotherapy and more.

     

    Ascend Counseling Services

    (228) 351-9484

    www.ascendcounselingservices.net/

    Ascend Counseling Services offers individual and family counseling services in numerous areas of treatment.

     

    At the Root Counseling and Wellness

    (315) 317-2537

    https://www.attherootwellness.com/

    At The Root Counseling & Wellness takes a holistic approach to individual, couples and group counseling.

     

    Back Bay Mission

    (228) 432-0301

    https://thebackbaymission.org/

    Back Bay Mission offers many ministries serving the poor and marginalized people of the Coast, including emergency assistance and supportive housing.

     

    Biloxi Treatment Center

    (228) 207-1248

    www.newseason.com/clinics/biloxi-treatment-center/

    Biloxi Treatment Center provides opioid addiction treatment and recovery services to the Mississippi Gulf Coast.

     

    Bloom Wellness

    (228) 382-3107

    www.bloom4wellness.com/

    Bloom Wellness offers individual, couples and family therapy and specializes in working with tweens, teens and adults.

     

    Bolt Counseling Services

    (228) 382-3138

    www.boltcounselingservices.com/

    Bolt Counseling Services offers individual counseling, couples counseling, family counseling and EMDR therapy.

     

    Bridgewater Psychiatry

    (228) 331-3310

    www.bridgewaterpsychiatry.com

    Bridgewater Psychiatry is a private outpatient facility that works with children, adolescents, and adults to treat most major mental health disorders; services include medication management, psychological testing and both individual and couples psychotherapy.

     

    Bruce Professional Counseling Services LLC

    (228) 207-0725

    www.bruceprofessionalcounseling.com

    Bruce Professional Counseling Services LLC offers services for adults and children.

     

    Bryan Keith Ballard, LPC

    (228) 594-9010

    Bryan Keith Ballard offers professional counseling services.

     

    Building Behaviors Counseling Services LLC

    (228) 424-3427

    www.facebook.com/BuildingbehaviorsCounselingServices

    Building Behaviors serves children, adolescents and adults through counseling, anger management and parenting skills training.

     

    Building New Tomorrows LLC

    (228) 374-7854

    www.facebook.com/BuildingNewTomorrows/

    Specializes in helping individuals, couples and families during times of stress and turmoil.

     

    Canopy Children’s Solutions

    (228) 863-4992

    https://mycanopy.org/

    Canopy Children’s Solutions is a nonprofit provider of children’s behavioral health, educational and social service solutions.

     

    Caring Hearts Counseling Services

    (228) 591-1442

    www.facebook.com/CaringHeartsCounselingServices/

    Caring Hearts specializes in treatment of children, adolescents and families who are experiencing mental, emotional and/or behavioral issues.

     

    Catalyst Counseling and Therapy Services

    (228) 284-2644

    www.catalystcounselingandtherapy.com

    Catalyst Counseling and Therapy Services is a strengths-based mental health counseling service that helps individuals, couples and families get back on track with their lives.

     

    Charla Wilson Counseling Services PLLC

    (228) 456-3222

    https://charlawilsoncounseling.com

    Charla Wilson Counseling Services PLLC offers counseling services for individuals, couples, families, adults, adolescents and children.

     

    Choices Coordinated Care Solutions Inc.

    (318) 613-7026

    choicesccs.org

    Choices Coordinated Care Solutions, Inc. is a national non-profit organization committed to supporting youth with significant behavioral and emotional challenges.

     

    Claveau Counseling Center

    (228) 222-5858

    lclaveau.wixsite.com/claveaucounselingctr

    Claveau Counseling Center offers services for individuals, couples and families for a variety of emotional, behavioral and psychological disorders.

     

     Co-ACTive Families

    (228) 337-0084, (228) 313-3106

    www.donnaburrowespysd.com

    Co-ACTive Families is the independent private practice of Dr. Donna Burrowes, who specializes in evaluation and treatment for children, adolescents and families. Her practice is located inside Colorful Minds, a therapy program that provides Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) to children with autism.

     

    Coastal Family Health Services

    https://coastalfamilyhealth.org/

    877-374-4991

    Coastal Family Heath Services offers mental health assessments, brief counseling and/or referrals for more intensive levels of treatment, substance abuse assessments, brief counseling and/or referrals for detox and more intensive levels of treatment.

     

    Dr. Conrad Anderson

    (228) 365-3552

    Dr. Anderson is a counselor specializing in counseling, clinical social work and more.

     

    CONTACT the Crisis Line

    (601) 713-4099

    www.contactthecrisisline.org

    CONTACT the Crisis Line is a 24/7 helpline/crisis line/warm line that has been providing free confidential, compassionate help to anyone in need of emotional support since 1971.

     

    Crossroads Recovery Center

    (228) 213-5909

    www.facebook.com/CrossroadsRecovery/

    Crossroads recovery center offers alcohol, tobacco and drug prevention services and substance abuse services.

     

    DreamTree Enterprises, LLC

    (228) 239-4193

    mentalhealthms.com/dreamtree-enterprises-llc/

    DreamTree Enterprises, LLC offers services for children and youth.

     

    Elizabeth McQueen LPC

    (228) 897-7730

    Elizabeth McQueen specializes in counseling.

     

    Dr. Ethel W. Hetrick

    (228) 467-2424

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/ethel-wiest-hetrick-bay-saint-louis-ms/128500

    Dr. Hetrick has extensive training and experience in the assessment of learning disorders of all types, as well as ways to treat and remediate the problems.

     

    Dr. Gerald Steve Barrilleaux

    (228) 863-1132

    Dr. Gerald Steve Barrilleaux specializes in clinical psychology.

     

    Gulf Coast Behavioral Sciences LLC

    (601) 850-8663

    www.gulfcoastbehavioralsciences.com/

    Gulf Coast Behavioral Sciences LLC offers professional counseling and applied behavioral analysis services to individuals and families.

     

    Gulf Coast Family Counseling Agency

    (228) 875-6113

    https://gulf-coast-family-counseling-agency.business.site/

    Gulf Coast Family Counseling Agency is private, nonprofit counseling center that is United Way affiliated.

     

    Gulf Coast Center for Nonviolence 

    (228) 435-1968 (Harrison County), (228) 762-8267 (Jackson County/Adrienne’s House), (228) 252-1999 (Hancock County), (800) 800-1396 (crisis line)

    http://www.gccfn.org/

    The Gulf Coast Center for Nonviolence offers services and programs for children, victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, loved ones of homicide victims and others.

     

    Gulf Coast Mental Health Coalition

    (251) 404-3924

    The goal of the Gulf Coast Mental Health Coalition is to bridge the Gulf on mental health through a process of “communicate, educate and legislate.”

     

    Gulf Coast Play Therapy Clinic LLC

    (228) 224-2258

    www.gcplaytherapy.com/

    Clinic specializes in play therapy, which lets children express difficulties and resolve life challenges through the language of play.

     

    Gulf Coast Psychotherapy

    (228) 388-2900

    www.gulfcoastpsychotherapy.net/

    Gulf Coast Psychotherapy is a full-service mental health and substance abuse counseling center providing a wide range of mental health and substance abuse services.

     

    Gulfport Behavioral Health System

    1-800-831-1700

    www.gulfcoastbehavioralsciences.com/

    Gulfport Behavioral offers treatment programs and services designed to stabilize patients’ emotional or mental health issues and promote long-term recovery and mental wellness.

     

    Home of Grace

    (228)-826-5283

    www.homeofgrace.org/

    The Home of Grace, a Christ-centered recovery program, helps individuals battle various types of addiction.

     

    Imagine Counseling Center

    (228) 452-6023

    https://imaginecounselingcenter.com/

    Imagine Counseling Services offers counseling services for children, adolescents and families.

     

    Islands Counseling

    www.islandscounseling.com/

    Offers confidential, therapeutic and professional services provided by licensed professional counselors or licensed clinical social workers.

     

    Dr. James Edward Hightower

    (504) 613-6835

    www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/james-edward-hightower-diamondhead-ms/368094

    Dr. Hightower offers a variety of counseling services for individuals, couples and families.

     

    James Hite, LPC

    (228) 696-9224

    Hite offers licensed professional counseling services.

     

    Jim Soriano LMFT, LPC

    (228) 547-6459

    http://jimsorianolpc.com/

    Soriano offers individual counseling services, addiction counseling, marital/family counseling, trauma counseling and more.

     

    Kimila R DeFlanders, therapist/licensed clinical social worker

    (601) 651-4804

    www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/kimila-r-deflanders-gulfport-ms/382077

    DeFlanders uses a unique and individually tailored blend of cognitive behavioral and client-centered therapy to provide therapeutic services to children, adolescents, adults, and families.

     

    Kari Rusnak Counseling

    (228) 860-3727

    www.karirusnakcounseling.com/

    Offers relationship counseling online in Mississippi, Colorado and Utah.

     

    Leah Gaddis, LPC  

    (228) 696-9224

    Leah Gaddis offers professional counseling services.

     

    LSL Psychological Services

    (228) 265-5144

    www.lslpsychologicalservices.com/

    LSL Psychological Services provides a range of evidence-based treatments, including psychological assessment/testing services and diagnosis/treatment for a wide variety of issues for children, adolescents, adults, and families.

     

    Millcreek

    (228) 868-5112 (Long Beach), (228) 474-7589 (Moss Point)

    https://www.millcreekofmagee.com/

    Millcreek provides care for emotionally disabled and developmentally delayed children and adolescents.

     

    Mental Health Association of South Mississippi

    (228) 864-6274

    https://msmentalhealth.org/

    The Mental Health Association of South Mississippi works to support and empower people who suffer from mental illness with resources and support services.

     

    Mindful Matters

    (228) 284-4651 or (228) 284-4652

    www.msmindfulmatters.com/

    Mindful Matters services include adult psychiatric evaluations, pediatric psychiatric evaluations, diagnosis and treatment of mental health disorders and mental health support groups.

     

    Mississippi Behavioral Health Services

    1-800-834-9348, Gulfport location (228) 897-7465, Pascagoula location (228) 712-8024

    msbehavioralhealth.org

    Mississippi Behavioral Health Services offers a network of providers across the state to provide counseling services and treatment resources for children, adolescents and adults suffering from mental illness, emotional and/or behavioral disturbances.

     

    Mississippi Centers for Autism and Related Developmental Disabilities

    (228) 396-4434

    https://thebackbaymission.org/

    MCARDD exists as a service provider and referral source for those individuals and families impacted by Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and as a clearinghouse for all who work with them.

     

    Mississippi Drug and Alcohol Treatment Center

    (855) 334-6120

    www.mississippidatc.com/

    Mississippi Drug and Alcohol Treatment Center offers individual care with emphasis on family healing, with residential, partial hospitalization and intensive outpatient programs available.

     

    Mississippi Sound Counseling Services

    (228) 547-2250

    www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/mississippi-sound-counseling-services-gulfport-ms/261660

    Mississippi Sound Counseling Services offers help for those with problems with anxiety, depression, mood disorders, self-esteem, teen issues, family conflict, co-parenting , anger management, codependency, addictions, eating disorders and crisis management.

     

    Myrtis Austin

    (228) 437-5653

    Austin specializes in marriage and family therapy.

     

    NAMI – Mississippi

    (601) 899-9058 or (800) 357-0388 (non-crisis line); 1-800-950-NAMI (NAMI national information hotline)

    namims.org/

    National Alliance on Mental Illness – Mississippi is dedicated to improving the quality of life for people with mental illness and their families through support, education and advocacy.

     

    New Life Harmony

    (228) 223-7115 or (228) 860-3002

    www.newlifeharmony.com

    New Life Harmony is a unique clinic based on a mind, body and spirit perspective, offering counseling and transformational therapy.

     

    Nurturing Wellness Group Foundation

    (734) 992-7211

    NurturingWellnessGroupFoundation.org

    Terri Brinston RN, MA, CLNC, is the chief executive officer of Nurturing Wellness Group Foundation, which serves teens and young adults ages 12 to 25 who are struggling in school and in life due to stressors.

     

    Oasis Mental Wellness LLC

    (228) 456-3116

    www.oasismentalwellness.com/

    Oasis Mental Wellness provides individual and family counseling to those who feel overwhelmed.

     

    Oceans Healthcare/Oceans Behavioral Hospital

    (228) 324-0474, (228) 388-0600

    https://oceanshealthcare.com/biloxi

    Oceans provides a range of inpatient and outpatient psychiatric counseling and treatment options, with individual and group programs available.

     

    Pine Belt Mental Healthcare Resources 

    Harrison Mental Health Center: (228) 213-5888, Hancock Mental Health Center: (228) 220-5454, crisis stabilization unit: (228) 213-5900, Crossroads Recovery Center: (228) 213-5909, Gulf Coast IDD: (228) 284-5525, Biloxi satellite offices: (228) 207-8617

    www.pbmhr.org/

    Pine Belt Mental Healthcare Resources has offices in 13 Mississippi counties and provides a range of mental health services from 68 locations.

     

    Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services

    1-888-574-4673

    www.pinegrovetreatment.com

    Since 1984, Pine Grove has offered a continuum of services ranging from outpatient to inpatient and residential treatment.

     

    Practical Solutions Counseling and Consulting PLLC

    (228) 314-3626

    https://practicalsolutionscounseling.com/

    Practical Solutions provides mental health and consulting services to the local community.

     

    Premier Professional Counseling Services

    (228) 220-4226

    www.premiercounselingservices.net/

    Premier Professional Counseling offers family therapy, couples therapy, individual therapy, group therapy, supervised visits/child exchange program and more.

     

    Psycamore LLC Psychiatric Programs

    (228) 385-7744

    https://psycamore.com/

    Psycamore is a licensed, private, freestanding psychiatric intensive treatment program for highly functional individuals suffering from serious mental disorders, resulting in psychosocial, work or school impairments.

     

    Ray of Light Counseling Service

    (228) 260-0675

    rayoflightcounselingservices.com

    Jennifer Mayne, licensed clinical social worker, and her therapists have over 20 years of experience treating adolescents to adults. They specialize in developing tailored solutions for their patients that educate and support them in the most effective ways to take care of body and mind for a well-rounded life. Appointments are available in person and via telehealth.

     

    Renew Counseling Services

    (228) 219-4738

    http://renewcounselingms.com/

    Renew Counseling Services provides mental health counseling rooted in Christian beliefs for individuals and couples, addressing issues ranging from depression to marital struggles.

     

    Resilience Psychotherapy PLLC

    (888) 464-1811

    https://moreresilient.com/

    Resilience Psychotherapy works with clients to set personal goals, explore their feelings, beliefs, and behaviors, and work through painful memories and trauma.

     

    Restoration Counseling Services LLC

    (601) 385-1235

    lynneasabian.wixsite.com

    Restoration Counseling Services LLC, owned by Lynne Sabin, offers therapy services for children and adults.

     

    Right Track Medical Group Mental Health Clinic

    (228) 232-0890

    www.righttrackmedical.com/biloxi

    Right Track Medical Group offers help for a number of mental health disorders, including anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, mood disorders, depression and postpartum depression.

     

    Rivers Psychotherapy Services

    (228) 206-3632

    https://www.riverspsychotherapyservices.com/

    Rivers Psychotherapy offers therapy to those struggling with numerous issues, ranging from anxiety and depression to grief and interpersonal trauma.

     

    Safe Harbor Clinic

    (228) 200-0720

    safeharborclinic.com/

    Safe Harbor Clinic offers services for addiction treatment, psychiatry, counseling and therapy and state-of-the-art depression treatment using transcranial magnetic stimulation, TMS (coming soon).

     

    Seeking Other Solutions LLC

    (601) 806-5593

    www.seekingothersolutions.com/

    Seeking Other Solutions offers cognitive behavioral therapy to address a variety of needs.

     

    Serenity Coast Counseling

    (228) 860-9302

    serenitycoastcounseling.com

    Serenity Coast Counseling works with clients to address an array of mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, grief and PTSD.

     

    Shanti Yoga & Counseling LLC

    (228) 284-2337

    http://www.shantiyogaandcounseling.com/

    Shanti Yoga & Counseling is a holistic center providing integrative healing services combining psychology, yoga and meditation, for mind-body balance and emotional wellness.

     

    Simone and Associates PLLC

    (228) 604-0099

    Simone and Associates PLLC offers individual therapy for adults, adolescents and children, as well as couples therapy, family therapy, group therapy/classes and psychological evaluations.

     

    Singing River Behavioral Health

    singingriverhealthsystem.com/areas-of-care/behavioral-health/

    Singing River Behavioral Health provide both inpatient and outpatient care for a number of mental illnesses and conditions.

     

    Singing River Services

    (228) 497-0690; mobile crisis line, 1-866-497-0690

    singingriverservices.com/

    Singing River Services offers aid for children and adults. Teams consist of mental health professionals who can provide support to those experiencing a mental health, alcohol and drug, or intellectual and development disabilities crisis. Teams are available in all 82 counties in Mississippi 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

     

    Southern Christian Services for Children and Youth, Inc. 

    (228) 896-1228

    www.scscy.org

    Southern Christian Services for Children and Youth, Inc. serves and equips vulnerable children and youth, assisting them in the process of becoming self-sufficient and contributing members of society.

     

    South Mississippi Regional Center

    (228) 868-2923

    https://www.smrc.ms.gov/

    South Mississippi Regional Center supports those with intellectual and other developmental disabilities.

     

    Specialized Treatment Facility

    (228) 328-6000

    www.stf.state.ms.us/

    Specialized Treatment Facility (STF) provides psychiatric residential services for Mississippi adolescents who have been diagnosed with a mental disorder.

     

    Supportive Services for Veteran Families

    www.voa.org/supportive-services-for-veteran-families

    The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs’ Supportive Services for Veteran Families (SSVF) program awards grants to private entities, which help eligible veteran families with outreach, case management, and assistance in obtaining VA and other benefits.

     

    Teri L. Gaethe LPC

    (614) 477-5467

    Teri L. Gaethe offers mental health counseling services.

     

    Victoria L Scott, LPC

    (228) 900-9962

    www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/victoria-l-scott-biloxi-ms/350407

    Scott helps clients struggling with symptoms of anxiety, depression, addiction, trauma, relational and self-esteem issues and more.

     

    Will’s Way LLC Pediatric Behavioral Psychology

    (228) 731-3500

    https://www.willswaybehavioral.com/

    Will’s Way provides behavioral solutions for at-risk children and their families throughout Mississippi.

     

    Youth Villages

    (228) 354-9700

    youthvillages.org

    Youth Villages offers home-based services for children and families through MYPAC: Mississippi Youth Programs Around the Clock.

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    When anxiety takes over

    By Jocelyn Gavin-Lane

    I have experienced some level of anxiety for as long as I can remember. In grade school, I recall being extra nervous at test time or when big events happened. That’s common, and in some instances, it can be classified as good anxiety. 

    It wasn’t until my father’s death that my anxiety level changed drastically. Suddenly, things felt very different. When anxiety starts to interfere with daily living, professional help is warranted. 

    Good anxiety helps us to be responsible. It prompts us to stop at red lights and watch for cars and motivates us to not procrastinate when we have a looming deadline.  

    Bad anxiety can send you down a rabbit hole of worry. Once anxiety starts impacting your daily life, it’s time to seek help. Here are some ways anxiety may affect you:

    • Feeling restless, wound-up, or on-edge
    • Feeling easily fatigued
    • Difficulty concentrating; mind going blank
    • Irritability
    • Social isolation 
    • Muscle tension
    • Difficulty controlling feelings of worry
    • Sleep problems, such as difficulty falling or staying asleep, restlessness, or unsatisfying sleep
    • Constantly imagining the worst-case scenario

    Anxiety disorders generally are treated with psychotherapy, medication or both. Many options are available for treating anxiety, and people should work with their doctors to choose the treatment that is best for them.

    Jocelyn Gavin-Lane is owner of Premier Professional Counseling. Reach her at (228) 731-8800 or premiercounselingservices@gmail.com.

     


    Understanding anxiety

    “Occasional bouts of anxiety are a normal and healthy response to certain fearful situations, like public speaking, asking for a raise, going to large social events or even waiting in line to ride a rollercoaster. If the anxiety feels overwhelming, erratic or severe, you may be suffering from a specific type of anxiety disorder.”

    From Gulfport Behavioral Health System

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    The importance of self-esteem

    By Nicole Bedsole

    We are our own worst critics and our own best cheerleaders. Self-esteem plays a vital role in how we see ourselves, not only when we are alone, but when we are at work or with friends and family. Wherever we go, there we are — with our self-esteem in tow.

    We learn what to feel about ourselves and develop thoughts and opinions about ourselves early in life, from family, friends, teachers, co-workers, clergy, strangers, etc. If a person has low self-esteem, it can be difficult to change the way he or she thinks. However, change is possible.

    The first thing someone may want to know and keep repeating to himself or herself is that no one person is better than the next. We may live different lives and have different values, but we are all human. We all share good and bad experiences, causing us to have periods of high and low self – esteem.

    Keeping our self-esteem balanced is key. Psychology Today shares some signs that a person has the right amount of confidence:

    • Knows the difference between confidence and arrogance
    • Is not afraid of feedback
    • Does not people-please or seek approval
    • Is not afraid of conflict
    • Can set boundaries
    • Can voice needs and opinions
    • Is assertive, but not pushy
    • Is not a slave to perfection
    • Is not afraid of setbacks
    • Does not fear failure
    • Does not feel inferior
    • Accepts who he or she is

    What if you need help boosting your confidence? So many techniques are available that you might get overwhelmed. Here is a brief list of what I do to combat low self-esteem: 

    • Stay away from all-or-nothing thinking and seeing things as only good or bad.
    • Stay away from negative thoughts. If I start to have negative thoughts, I replace them with an affirmation.
    • Identify my feelings and talk to someone about them.
    • Stay away from negative people. I tend to avoid people who have a problem for every solution.
    • Journal — when I get my thoughts and feelings down on paper, they become real to me, and I can focus on what changes I need to make.

    These tips are just the tip of the iceberg. Finding what works best for you will set you on the right track. Always remember to do the best you can and give yourself a break. You are only human, and you can do it!

    Nicole Bedsole is a certified peer support specialist with the Mental Health Association of South Mississippi. Reach her at nbedsole@msmentalhealth.org.


    Self-harm: fact versus myth

    “If you or someone you know is engaged in self-harm, don’t suffer in silence. Start by talking to a trusted adult, friend or medical professional who is familiar with the subject. Several types of therapy are available to help those who are struggling, and this can allow them to establish healthier coping mechanisms.”

    Kay Daneault, executive director of the Mental Health Association of South Mississippi 

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    A letter to parents of teens

    After losing son to suicide, Deborah C. Anthony hopes his story will save lives

    Dear parents, 

    As I reflect on the events that led to my son’s death, I ask these questions every day: “Son, what did you want me to know? What message did you want to convey that was so difficult that at your deepest moments of pain, you could not tell me, and I could not hear?”

    I will never forget the weekend of Nov. 5, 2021. I was out of town for work. On Saturday morning, Nov. 6, I woke up hearing a strong voice saying, “Go home!” I said to myself, “OK, I will leave on Sunday instead of Monday. I can just change my flight.”

    The Lord’s voice repeated the command: “Go home!” I began the process of changing my flight and managed to return Saturday evening. Throughout that day, I was sick to my stomach and could not understand why. I prayed and asked the Lord for clarity, yet I could not discern what was happening. I knew something was wrong. 

    When I arrived, my eldest daughter picked me up with all the girls. I said to myself, “Well, everything appears to be fine” and felt relieved. Everyone was exhausted, and I asked the girls where John was. They told me he was at the game with friends. John was now 18, so I didn’t worry and went to bed.

    On Sunday mornings, my normal routine is to attend church. However, on Nov. 7, I heard the Lord say, “Spend time with your children.” I woke everyone up and said, “Let’s go to breakfast.” My eldest was home from college, so I thought it would be fun to have a meal with all six of my children. 

    ‘The day felt very different’

    At the restaurant, there was the usual fussing among the kids. John was very quiet. He wore a hoodie and seemed extra tired, which I assumed was because he had a long night. He ordered his usual French toast. We shared a love for some good French toast with a side of bacon.

    John was an amazing big brother to his five sisters. They loved him dearly. He was their protector and confidante, and he showed his love to each one in his own special way. 

    After breakfast, the day felt very different. As usual, we had to take my daughter back to school, which was about an hour away. John, affectionately known as “John Boy,” did not want to come with us, saying he was tired. 

    As we pulled away from the house, halfway down the road, John’s dad said we had to turn around; he was not feeling well. When we returned to the house, I told John Boy he would have to come with me to take Jada. He was so angry at that moment. Later, I realized I had interrupted his initial plan to terminate his life while we were gone. 

    Looking back, I could see he was struggling. I knew of his depression, and I had planned appointments for him that week to meet with a counselor.

    Little did I know this drive would be his last time seeing his big sister. While we were headed back home, I had a vision of someone dying, and it brought such a fear upon me that I began to pray. It was a very strange moment, and I was uncertain who it was.
    We returned home at about 2:30 p.m. I was exhausted from my trip and decided to rest in bed the rest of the day watching movies. My normal routine on a Sunday afternoon was to tell the big kids to clean their rooms, wash their clothes and prepare for Monday. All seemed normal, and at about 8 p.m., John Boy picked up Wendy’s for the family. With no fuss, just like always, he willingly got us some food. 

    Isolation, poor communication, disconnection 

    When he returned at about 9 p.m., he came into the bedroom to wish me goodnight. This was the final time I would ever hear his voice, and the words run through me over and over. He said, “Goodnight, mommy, I love you,” reached down to my bed and hugged me tight. I’ll never forget this moment because I now know he wanted me to know the loved me and this was not about me.

    As I reflect on the last four years of his life, I see signs. I can see that as a mother with six children, trying to divide my time, that I missed how very sad John was. I did not move fast enough to get him help. I was convinced that his mood swings were just adolescence. I know now that COVID was a destroyer to many children socially, emotionally and educationally. John W. Anthony was a senior in high school, and he was very frustrated by the thought of an uncertain future he felt he was not ready for.

    John was my only son, and I allowed him to spend his time in the gaming world. If I am completely honest, I did not monitor that world. I did not see the harm, although I fussed all the time about the lack of sleep he was getting. John was a kind soul and not very outspoken. I remember in the last few months of his life, I spoke to him about being better at communicating. Little did I know that his cutting communication was a part of his depression and disconnecting from me and his family.

    If I could share anything I’ve learned with other parents, it would be three things to fight against happening to your children:

    • Isolation
    • Poor communication
    • Disconnection

    As our family fell asleep on Nov. 7, 2021, no one knew that in the other room, John was sending texts to all his friends, the people he cared about, to say goodbye. He watched the Netflix series, “13 Reasons Why,” something I feel gives kids courage to commit suicide. 

    At 11 p.m., John Wesley Christian Anthony took his own life in his room in his bed. My younger daughter entered my room and said, “Mommy, did you hear that sound?” I replied that maybe a picture fell off the wall and went back to bed. At 1 a.m. on Nov. 8, police were banging on our door saying, “I think you should check on your son.”

    A mother’s cry

    I ran to his room to find my baby boy laying there still. All I could see was his lifeless body lying there. It hurt me so much to know that I could not rescue him. I wanted one last goodbye, another moment to let him know how much I believed in him and how I thought he was the coolest person I knew. But I couldn’t wake him, and the pain I felt inside still lingers, causing me to realize I missed so many moments — moments I feel I should have known what to do to help him.

    This is the first time I’ve shared my story publicly. I want to tell parents not to be so busy that they ignore, overlook or disregard the pain their children may be experiencing. John at 14 struggled with depression. My solution was to keep him busy, thinking he would overcome his challenges. He was a basketball player; he loved the game on the court and off, yet he suffered from insecurities about being short and on a team with tall boys. He wanted to build muscle and look like “ballers” who trained in college. He worked on this, but I don’t think things moved fast enough for him. He had a job working after school that kept him exhausted, but the restlessness inside made him suffer from a silent killer — depression. I often tried to get into his heart and head, but he wouldn’t open up. I felt that he was just being a boy.

    Don’t allow your children to shut down on you. It’s not normal for children to completely stop communicating. If they do, seek a support group, counselor, minister or other help.  Although they may not be able to communicate their pain, when you see signs of them shutting down, don’t allow them to consume themselves with games and phones, creating a world you are not a part of. It is not OK.

    Pay attention when you see them disconnecting from friends and family. Notice when they no longer want to spend time with you or their friends. Create interventions and seek professional help that will give your child the tools needed to dig out of the rut in which they find themselves.
    As a mom of a son who committed suicide, I now can see the warning signs that I could not see while he was here. We cannot ignore pain; It is an indicator that something is wrong and must be addressed. I probably will carry the guilt I feel throughout my life, but in this moment, I want you to know your story doesn’t have to end the same way. You can get your child evaluated and peer into his or her world. Become part of that world even when they try to reject you.

    John Wesley Christian Anthony is in the arms of Jesus resting because his fight with the world became too difficult. My hope is that his story will save many lives.

    Deborah C. Anthony is a branding strategist, coach, author, speaker and CEO of Anthony Strategies Group. Reach her at deborah@deborahcanthony.com.

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