For most of us, home is a place of love, warmth and comfort, where we can be surrounded by those we love and those who love us. It is haven from life’s storms and the trials of daily life. But for millions of women, home is anything but a sanctuary. It is estimated that in the U.S. alone, 1.3 million women are victims of physical violence by a partner every year. Every 9 seconds, a woman in the U.S. is beaten or assaulted by a current or ex-significant other. Domestic violence is prevalent in every community and affects all people regardless of age, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation, gender, race, religion or nationality. Physical violence often is accompanied by emotionally abusive and controlling behavior as part of a much larger, systematic pattern of dominance and control.
October’s designation as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month makes it an ideal time to acknowledge domestic violence survivors and be a voice for victims.
If you suspect a friend or family member is being abused, you can take steps to help. Tell that loved one you are concerned about her safety. It’s important to be supportive and offer specific assistance, such as making a safety plan. Encourage her to talk to someone who can provide professional help, but be careful not to place shame, blame or guilt on her.
When it comes to women in abusive relationships, the jarring reality is that many aren’t certain if they are really in an abusive relationship. They often are used to their partner calling them crazy or making them feel like all the problems in the relationship are their fault.
As October ends, the important awareness it brings to domestic violence’s horrific repercussions should not. Throughout this month and beyond, let’s all do our part to raise awareness surrounding domestic abuse. We must endeavor to support our loved ones and the community organizations that are working to end this blight on society by donating our time, money and resources to this worthy cause.
If you or someone you love needs help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233 or text START to 88788.
Dr. April Ulmer, a.k.a. “The Tummy Dr.,” is a board-certified pediatric gastroenterologist who practices at Kids and Tummies in Gulfport. Reach her at thetummydr@gmail.com.
IS IT ABUSE?
If you or a loved one is struggling with the question of whether abuse is occurring, here are some key questions to consider.
If the answer to any of the following questions is “yes,” abuse on some level likely is occurring.
Does the person you love:
- Threaten to hurt you or other people you care about?
- Hit, kick, punch, push, choke or use physical force against you?
- Criticize or blame you for everything that goes wrong?
- Humiliate you in front of other people?
- Control your access to money?
- Control the decision making in your relationship?
- Control your time and actions?
- Put you down, call you names or make you feel like you’re crazy?
- Destroy your property or abuse your pets?
- Threaten to hurt you or commit suicide if you leave?
- Force or coerce you to have sex when you don’t want to?
