by Stephanie D. Barnes
The holiday season is full of love, laughter and celebration! There are the parties, the family gatherings and festivities with friends. We celebrate with many cups of good cheer. Our cup runneth over! But this holiday season, instead of filling our cup with good cheer, perhaps we should be asking if our cup should be empty.
Far too often, we are living our lives with a cup full of the wrong fs. Fears. Unadulterated fears that are blocking our path to the life we truly deserve.
- Our cup is full of the fear that we are not enough.
- Our cup is full of the fear of what people think.
- Our cup is full of the fear of what if it doesn’t turn out right.
- Our cup is full of the fear of failure.
- Our cup is full of the fear that “they” won’t like me.
- Our cup is full of the fear that it really will work.
This is not about seeing the cup half full or half empty, but making sure that your cup is not full of the wrong things. Often, we cannot even fill our cup with the things that fulfill us because it’s too full of the wrong thing.
- We fill our cup with limiting thoughts and beliefs.
- We fill our cup with expectations that don’t match our purpose.
- We fill our cup with the fears that have kept us in a box.
- We fill our cup with other’s opinions about how we should live our lives.
- We fill our cups with rules that write us in a corner and keep us from living the life that truly brings us joy.
- We fill our cups with the lies that tell we are glass when we really are diamonds.
- We fill our cup with heartbreak, pain and disappointment and convince ourselves that we don’t deserve joy because it’s beyond our reach.
Until your cup is empty, you will never be the CEO of your life. Someone else will be the head of your board of directors. You will be living someone else’s dream. You will be an actor living a script written by the opinions, judgement, fears and inadequacies of the others who don’t have the courage to live the purpose you were destined to be. You will drink and will not be full!
There are 5 things to get you to your empty cup:
- Mindset. Your beliefs and values guide your actions. If you don’t believe that you can, you won’t. A failure mentality looks at all the reasons you cannot. A success mentality sees all the reasons you can, including solutions to the obstacles that presently block your path.
- People. The people in your lives are either in your way or help you on your way. Are you surrounded by people with a failure mentality? Choose to be around people who will see in you what you cannot see in yourself. Choose to see the greatness that others see in you.
- Systems. Every success is supported by a system—a disciplined way of doing things—that is supported by the resources that help you to achieve your goals—people, tools, strategies, processes, knowledge and action.
- M.A.D. Instead of getting mad when things don’t go your way, get M.A.D.—Motivated And Determined! Everyone won’t cheer for you. Everyone won’t understand your vision. You must be your own source of motivation, regulation and celebration. Be your own cheerleader! Change your behaviors to match your goals. Take time to acknowledge your greatness and throw a party for yourself!
- Why. You must know your why. Why is this important to me? Why is this important to anyone else? Your why must serve a purpose to others. It’s not about you, but about how you make the world better with your gifts, talents, and skills.
Give yourself the gift of the empty cup!
Then you can fill your own cup. Your cup should be GrateFULL. Regardless of where you are right now in your life, you have something to be grateful for. Stop looking at what you don’t have and focus on what you do have. Gratitude opens your eyes to the possibilities in life.
Your cup should be FaithFULL. You must believe that you actually deserve more! You must believe that you can have more. Every belief creates an action. Every action creates a future. Be deliberate in the future you create.
Your cup should be JoyFULL. Life is too short to live in misery. Life is too long to deny yourself of the joy you deserve. They say that misery enjoys company, but so does joy. Immerse yourself in people and experiences that bring you joy!
Your cup should be PurposeFULL. You have a distinct purpose that you were put on this earth to fulfill. Do you know why you exist? Do you have the courage to find out? Do you have the courage to live it once you do? YES!!! You do.
Your cup should be PeaceFULL. When you are not living your purpose, you cannot be at peace. Peace is a gift that you have to be willing to open. Don’t give your peace away to the fears in your life. Peace. Be Still. Listen to your spirit. When it is at unrest, you are not at peace. It is telling you to move. and it won’t let you be until you move out of your comfort zone and into the place where your destiny is calling you.
Your cup should be SuccessFULL. You were meant to be prosperous. How you define prosperity is up to you and you alone. You can make millions and be unhappy. Don’t be broke and unhappy either. Define success for yourself and be unafraid to excel. Finally, your cup should be PowerFULL. Embrace the power of your decisions to live a fabulous life. One that transcends the ordinary to the authentic extraordinary You!
You were meant to shine as bright as Rudolph’s nose! You were not meant to be dulled by fear, misguided expectations or misalignment with your purpose. Now is the time. Now is the time for you to shine! Get your shine on with a full cup of beautiFULL, wonderFULL, fulFILLing YOU!
Stephanie D. Barnes is an attorney, author, speaker and career strategist. She can be reached at Stephanie@drstephaniedbarnes.com or visit www.drstephaniedbarnes.com.