Once a dedicated homemaker who served others in her community, Elizabeth Newman found herself in needing help in March of 2022.
A stroke left her very weak on her right side, meaning she no longer could live alone and required 24-hour care. A mother of four and grandmother of 10, the 89-year-old had participated in several Bible studies and sang in the choir at Trinity United Methodist Church. She adored her family and stayed very involved in their lives.
“She loved having her famous chocolate-chip cookies in the freezer so the grandchildren would have a snack when they stopped by for a visit,” recalls her daughter, Cindy Newman. “We’ve always been close, and I feel it is both a responsibility and honor to help her navigate through this stage of her life.”
AN OPPORTUNITY TO GIVE BACK
When a health crisis incapacitates a loved one, many families don’t even know where to start. Cindy and her sister, Roianne Gutierrez, visited several assisted living communities on the Coast before settling on The Claiborne in Gulfport.
“Having my sister help in the decision process made it much easier,” Cindy says.
As a fall risk, Elizabeth needs the level of support that assisted living provides. Cindy and her sister have divvied up the remaining responsibilities.
“Roianne oversees shopping and places an order with Walmart every Monday for delivery,” Cindy says. “I’m responsible for doctor’s appointments and most of her other needs.”
The sisters, along with their brother, Doug Newman, are also working at the family business, Newman Lumber Company in Gulfport. Their dad, Roy Newman, founded the company in 1947, and Elizabeth taught at Biloxi High School until they married in 1957.
Of all the things that changed after the stroke, Cindy has noticed that her mom’s sense of humor has really blossomed.
“She never was much of a drinker, but now after I take her to the doctor, I ask her if she’d like to stop by the liquor store,” Cindy jokes. “She says, ‘Let’s go!’ Of course, we don’t.”
TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME
Laughs aside, caregiving can be daunting and draining for anyone. Cindy’s advice to those who find themselves buckling under the strain: “If you are worn out, get help if you can.”
“Take one day at a time; do the best you can,” she adds. “And if you make a mistake, try again.”
If your loved one suddenly needs care and you’re feeling overwhelmed, Cindy suggests reaching out to others who are in a similar situation, as they can be a wealth of knowledge and support. Her mom’s needs likely will increase in the future, but for now, Cindy’s taking things as they come.
“We are in a different stage of life with mom; yes, it is time consuming, and at times very difficult” she says. “But her raising four kids was no cakewalk, so it’s our turn to help her.”