Many of us spend much of our weekdays wishing for the weekend. It makes sense; weekdays involve work, monotony and obligations while weekends often bring relaxation, excitement and novelty. However, I recently realized the downside of this habit while driving my children to school.
Each morning, our commute consisted of complaints and laments from the backseat: “I wish it was Saturday so that I could sleep in today,” or, “I can’t wait for Friday so that we can get to the weekend!”
As this pattern continued day after day, I feared their hyperfocus on the experiences of the weekend would cost them positive experiences during the week. I decided the best way to help them shift their mental narrative was to shift their focus to the potential found in each day.
One morning, before the complaining could start, I asked, “What are you boys looking forward to today?” At first, my eldest seemed skeptical. He replied, “Coming home and being done with school.”
While this was not quite the answer I’d hoped for, I went along with it.
“Okay,” I replied. “I can totally understand that. I love it when I get home and get to spend time with my family. I think that is what I am looking forward to today as well.”
I then turned to my youngest son and asked the same question. He responded that he was looking forward to playing with one of his best friends. “Excellent,” I said. “So, we’re looking forward to getting to play with our friends and spending time with our family once we get home.”
I repeated this ritual every morning that week, and I tried to accept whatever my sons said, no matter how small or insignificant. I knew that I had their buy-in when my eldest son started the ritual one morning by asking me, “So, mom, what are you looking forward to today?”
While very simple and hardly groundbreaking, this habit provides a pleasant way to begin our days, and it helps us to be more mindful in our day-to-day lives. It also is a great connection tool; I can ask specific questions in the afternoons to follow up on what they mentioned that morning. We have even expanded the scope of the question to include the outlook for our weeks, which we discuss on Sunday nights at dinner.
Of course, we all still eagerly await our weekends of fun, excitement and relaxation, but I now feel confident that my children can appreciate the beauty and novelty of life the other five days of the week as well.
