By Jenni Murray
‘Tis the season for being grateful! As cliché as it may sound, the holidays are a natural time to reflect on all that life has been and all we hope it will be.
Maybe the last year was one that you don’t want to remember; maybe it was fraught with heartbreak. I still would encourage you to pause and look for the glimmers of light — the little moments of goodness that broke through the dark. Maybe it was a friend who called to check on you, a child who made you laugh out loud on your hardest days or a deep faith that sustained you. What it was, remember and be grateful.
Perhaps you were too busy to even notice the good things that happened along the way, but what a great opportunity to be intentional about slowing down and bringing the things we hold dear to the surface. We should never be too busy to ponder what is right with our lives. Perhaps this year has been the best yet, and you are bursting at the seams with gratitude. Share the joy! We could all use a healthy dose of it.
The older I get (and the more self-help books I read), one thing has become abundantly clear: gratitude is the great antidote to life’s most difficult challenges. Gratitude as a practice has become popular among all communities. It is one of the greatest unifiers we have. You don’t have to be religious to be grateful. You don’t have to be of a particular political persuasion to count your blessings. You don’t have to be successful or happy, or even doing all that well, to find a reason to pause and be grateful.
Gratitude looks a lot like choosing our reality, and there is always something to be grateful for in our current realities. Even in the darkest of moments, there are small lights to grasp, hold dear and reflect on with a tender note of gratitude.
Even in the darkest of moments, there are small lights to grasp, hold dear and reflect on with a tender note of gratitude.
Parenting in the holiday season is not for the faint of heart, and I know that many of us end up going through the motions just to be efficient enough to get it all done. We are all busy; there is so much to do! Making gratitude a practice this season (and perhaps forever) doesn’t add an extra burden. On the contrary, it can make the even the heaviest burdens feel lighter.
I spent a few years working as a social worker in the child welfare system, so every year when I’m getting out stockings to hang on the fireplace, I pause and take in the sight of my children’s stockings. I allow myself five minutes to just take them in. Yes, they are just stockings embroidered with names, but they represent much more. They remind me that my children are a gift and that they are known and cherished in this home. They remind me that my children have a place where they will always belong, where their stockings will always be hung, where their places will always be waiting at the table, and where their mama will always be waiting with a deep gratitude because they exist and she gets to love them.
This exercise in gratitude never fails to bring me right back to the priorities that matter. The stuff in the stockings will never matter. What matters is the deep and abiding love that they can only receive when they are home.
I’m not sure what your exact gratitude practice will look like, but I promise you that being in the habit of practicing gratitude will change your mindset every single time. Things come into focus when we’re grateful. The fluff, the trials and the stress fade to the background when we know that we have absolutely everything we need in the people we love: our children, our family, our friends and our faith.
Whatever is most important to you, don’t forget to stop and say thank you this season. It feels simple — and it is, really — but it’s the most profound way to ground ourselves in exactly what matters most.
Jenni Murray is a social worker turned stay-at-home mom who lives in Pascagoula with her husband and their four sons. Reach her at jennijmurray@gmail.com.