Let’s face it: No mom is perfect — especially when a pandemic frays our nerves and tests our patience. There’s no magic formula to raising healthy, happy and well-adjusted kids, but most of us would welcome some timely expert advice. No matter where you are in your parenting journey, Gulf Coast Moms Blog and Dr. David Reeves, a pediatrician with Memorial Physician Clinics, Long Beach, have covered the basics with these tried-and-true tips for every age group.
INFANTS
HEALTH/SAFETY
- Infants should be put to sleep on their back. Do not use bumper pads, and do not place toys or stuffed animals in their beds.
- Avoid propping bottles, and never put a baby to bed with a bottle.
- Babies should be weaned from a bottle between 12 and 18 months. Using a bottle past 18 months leads to tooth decay.
- By Mississippi Law, babies should be in a rear-facing car seat until age 2 or until they reach the highest weight/height allowed by the seat manufacturers.
- As a rule, all children need to take the recommended vaccines, which start at this age. Childhood cases of meningitis, pneumonia, measles and chicken pox have decreased greatly thanks to vaccines, and rates of hospitalizations of children have greatly declined.
- For moms: In the beginning, just be. This stage does not last long. Be on their schedule. Sometimes we feel like we have to control everything. At least at the very beginning, just be. Enjoy every moment. Sleep when you can. Trying to control newborns’ sleep too soon will only cause you and them more stress.
FOOD/NUTRITION
- Breast feeding is recommended for the first 6 months. Babies should have either breast milk or formula for the first 12 months. Fruit juices may be started at 6 months, but quantity should be limited to 4 ounces per day.
- Good nutrition during the first two years of life is vital for healthy growth and development. Make the choice that’s best for your family.
TODDLERS
HEALTH/SAFETY
- Children over age 2 should be in a front facing car-seat or a booster seat with lap/shoulder belts until they are 4 foot 9 inches tall and/or weigh 65 pounds, per Mississippi law.
- Brush your child’s teeth twice a day, even if only with a brush and water at first.
- Schedule a dental visit between 18 and 24 months of age.
FOOD/NUTRITION
- Limit sweets and desserts. Typically, toddlers only eat when they are hungry and may skip meals. Don’t substitute sugary snacks (cookies, cakes, ice cream, etc.) for meals, and do not offer dessert if they do not eat their meal.
- Make a snack bucket and include healthy snacks and one daily treat.
- Keep only healthy snacks in the pantry, or in baskets, at a level they can easily access.
- If you’re struggling with getting your tots to eat more fruits and veggies, start with putting the fruits/vegetables they enjoy on their plate for every meal. This helps them gets used to variety. Slowly add different fruits and vegetables with the rule, “You don’t have to eat it, but it does have to stay on your plate.” Once they get used to having more color on their plate, their curiosity will spark. When in doubt, add a dip like ranch, hummus, nut butters or even chocolate syrup. The more they see food as something to celebrate and have fun with, the more open they’ll be to trying new things.
- Sing “Happy Birthday” to each other (once to me, once to them) while washing hands.
LEARNING AND RELATIONSHIP BUILDING
- When they’re angry, get down on their level and soothe them (rub their back, talk quietly or hold them). Right now, they’re little humans trying to make sense of an unknown world.
- Once a month (more if you have the time), spend one-on-one time with each child doing what he or she enjoys, completely uninterrupted.
- Potty training should begin around age 2. It can start as early as 18 months if the child shows interest.
- Read to your child daily. Reading encourages language development and learning and is excellent for bonding.
- Toddlers can be taught colors, counting and the alphabet, and they can start to read. Mastering these task helps for a successful start to kindergarten. Pre-school or Head start is recommended.
CHORES/DISCIPLINE
- Toddlers can learn simple chores (picking up their toys), and socialization is important. Learning to play with others, sharing and following rules are skills to be mastered in this age group.
- Teaching calm-down techniques before talking about a behavior helps open communication.
- Limit TV time and time on electronic devices.
AGE 5-7
HEALTH
- Exercise daily. You can go on walks as a family every evening after dinner, and during the day, play and be active in the backyard.
LEARNING AND RELATIONSHIP BUILDING
- If your child is having issues at school with learning or behavior, reach out to the teacher. Their teacher wants them to succeed as much as you do, and together, you should be able to solve the issues. If you treat the teacher in an adversarial manner, so will the child.
- A child is now old enough to begin organized activities outside of their home.
- Ask the kids about the best and worst parts of their day every day after school or at dinner. You learn a lot by opening communication this way.
- Allow kids to help pick out their clothes for the day and to assist in making their bed, putting away laundry, washing the dishes and cooking simple meals to boost confidence and motivation.
- To help kids transition into their new roles as older siblings, allow them to assist with preparing for new baby (organizing items, setting up the nursery and reading books to baby in mommy’s belly).
- Each night before bed, ask about the child’s day separately. This is the time to talk about anything and cover the highs of the day.
- Always give options and let them have the power to choose instead of always being told what to do.
- Our outer voice becomes their inner voice. Remind them daily how great they are and how much they are loved.
- Instead of being a referee in sibling arguments, be a coach. Take a little longer to come running when they “need” you to resolve a dispute. Give them a minute to problem solve on their own and model this behavior. Slowly, they will start to settle things on their own more often.
- Children start to master the major task of the next 13 years, which is school. School provides education and structure, which should continue at home. Children should have time for play, but a set time to accomplish homework, too.
CHORES/DISCIPLINE
- Identify the issue before moving to corrective behavior. Speak calmly, directly and clearly.
- Every night before bed, establish a clean-up routine. Have them clean their room and set out clothes for the next day. On the weekends, complete basic household chores and allow them to help (laundry, washing the car, sweeping, etc.).
- No matter the circumstance, have a “new day” policy. If the kids get in trouble, the punishment remains, but they can say “new day” to start over with fresh attitudes and smiles. When mom and dad catch themselves overreacting or taking out stress on them, they also can ask the kids for a “new day” and start over.
AGES 8-12
HEALTH/SAFETY
- Children are more aware of body image and hygiene independence. It’s important to talk about health rather than appearance.
- Children must have safety lessons reinforced such as crossing the street, bicycle safety, swimming, etc.
- During this age, puberty needs to be discussed with boys and girls. The age of puberty has decreased over the last 50 years, and now it is not unusual for children to start puberty between ages 9 and 12.
- The coming pubertal changes should be discussed frankly. There are several books available that discuss pubertal changes in language children can understand. After they are read, be prepared to discuss and answer questions.
LEARNING AND RELATIONSHIP BUILDING
- Sports, scouts, music, art, dance, etc. are all activities children may enjoy, which broaden and enhance their learning experiences and teach lessons of working toward a goal with perseverance.
- This is the age where friendships really start to flourish.
CHORES/DISCIPLINE
- This is the perfect age to help in the kitchen with meal prep and cooking simple dishes.
- Children should be assigned tasks around the home. Cleaning their room, helping to clean the house, doing dishes, washing clothes, mowing or raking the yard, etc. are all tasks children should learn during these years. Learning to do chores teaches self-reliance and reinforces the fact they are integral parts of the family unit.
AGES 13-18
HEALTH/SAFETY
- Many parents dread the teen years, maybe because parents remember the limits that they pushed during this period. At this stage children rely more on their peer groups for information and validation than they do their parents.
- It’s important to keep the lines of communication open and try to give constructive criticism and advice whether the teen wants it or not. They do hear you. Try to be open with your teen to discuss smoking, drugs, alcohol, sex, depression, etc.
- When it comes to mental health, take it seriously — always. Also, if needed, a psychiatrist specifically licensed to treat adolescents is extremely important.
CHORES/DISCIPLINE
- At some point, most teens want to start making their own money, which is a great opportunity to teach them about finances, banking and budgeting.
LEARNING AND RELATIONSHIP BUILDING
- Listen, listen, listen! A teenager sometimes wants to just talk without getting advice.
- Teens should be taught how to do routine car repairs, like changing a tire.
- Don’t assume teens don’t want to spend time with family. Many love activities like family game night.