by Crystal Scretching
“Make it all stop.” This was the thought I repeated in my head.
The smoke alarm was beeping for a new change of batteries. My son shouted out, “Mom!” for the third time to request another fruit cup. A high-pitched ding sounded with one more e-mail for me to address.
It seemed I had not one moment to just gather my thoughts. Everything was needing my attention. Everyone collectively pulled on me from every angle.
I was burnt out.
I can only describe this feeling of being drained as that screeching sound that comes from worn-down rusty car brakes. You can tell by this grinding squeal that there is nothing left of them, and it’s time to get them checked or replaced. Otherwise, drive any further, and you’re sure to break down at any given moment.
Upon further examination of myself, I looked down at nails losing their polish and in desperate need for a trimming. Messy pigtails with mismatched hair ties adorned my damaged hair. I questioned when I last showered for longer than the three-minute bird baths I had been taking. It was definitely time for some heavy maintenance.
You never intend to reach this point of complete undoneness. But, somehow the red flags get past you, and before you know it, you’re on the side of the road.
The myth is that you’ll get to yourself right after you finish A, B, and C on your list.
But what happens? You never do. A new set of A, B, C’s comes along and you move back down to the bottom of the list, unchecked and undone.
The next time you find yourself in a position of personal neglect, do the following:
1. STOP
Whatever you’re doing when these waves of overwhelm come about, take a literal pause.
2. BREATHE
So often we are going through our day holding our breath, leaving tension in our bodies. Take a full deep breath. And another. And another. As many as you need. On the exhale, let all of the stress go. Actually, see them drift away.
3. ASK
Now ask yourself, “What do I need in this moment?” This question is not to run down your list of to-do’s or to think of what your loved ones’ needs are. What do YOU need right now in this moment?
4. ALLOW
Allow space for the answer to come to you. Trust what you’re hearing in response. Be open to the suggestion.
Whether it’s five minutes or a weekend away, it is critical to take time for you. You can stop the cycle of putting yourself last on the list. You can take back your peace.
Plus, when you regularly practice self-care, you become an even better mom, wife, partner, friend and professional. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
REGAIN YOUR PEACE
- Take a long, hot shower (no interruptions)
- Go outside and breathe, literally doing nothing for 3-5 minutes
- Take a drive to the beach and just watch the waves go by
- Schedule a night to yourself for no reason but to have space (find a sitter)
- Take a quick trip to get a pedicure and your eyebrows waxed (or DIY at home)
- Have a grown up movie night (no Disney tonight!) with a pizza for one and a glass of wine
- Finally go to that yoga, Zumba or dance class (do not let anything take its place on your calendar)
- Have a girls night out or a date night with your significant other (and, yes, dress up — be festive!)
Crystal Scretching is an inspirational speaker, author and digital media specialist. For more info, visit www.crystalscretching.com or reach her at crystal.scretching@gmail.com.