As a writer and coach, my computer is an extension of my brain. I use it incessantly and I have created hundreds of documents—scripts, manuscripts, coaching records, PowerPoints, handouts, articles, blogs, etc.—you get the picture. In addition to creating 50 million documents, I have also created images for my social media posts and marketing materials. Needless to say, my computer is chock full of stuff and its storage is bulging. Running a virtual coaching practice means that I am always on the Internet! At any given moment, there are at least 10 tabs open on my browser. I open and send 50 million emails and open, download, and send another 50 million attachments. My efficiency is as good as my computer’s speed processor thing-a-ma-doochie. To no surprise, one day my computer was running a little sluggishly. The poor thing was taking forever to open documents and I was spending way too much time watching the little rainbow pinwheel thingy instead of getting anything done. Finally, I recognized that the sluggish response time could be easily fixed. I needed to close out unused browsers, apps, and open documents, clean out my downloads, and empty my trash. Once I did that, my computer began to perform at optimal speed and my efficiency returned. Wow! My computer taught me a great lesson!
SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO CLOSE OUT UNNECESSARY STUFF THAT IS DRAINING YOUR ENERGY!
One reason that my computer was resorting to the dreadful pinwheel of waiting was because it was trying to do too much at one time! How many times are we multitasking, overbooked, overworked, and under-rested? We think that we need to pile more onto our plates in the endless pursuit of productivity. Adding more does not really add more. It takes more away. We are doing more and missing out on the chance to connect with people who really matter. We are getting more done at the cost of losing relationships and missing out on meaningful experiences. What would happen if you put your phone down during dinner or lunch with your loved one or friend and really paid attention to them? I am talking to myself here. It’s sad, but I have to put my phone in my purse to avoid the temptation of looking at my social media feed or some other worthless pursuit of knowing more!
The other danger of doing too much is simply overtaxing your brain. You really do need to relax, rest, and renew. How many times do we pack our day “off” with a to-do list that rivals any workday task list? Certainly, we should carpe diem, but we also need to take care of ourselves before we end up requiescat in pace! If you overwork a hard drive, you can replace it or buy another computer. If you overwork your hard drive, you cannot just buy another you! There is a big difference in working smart and working hard. Sometimes you need to power down in order to power up! Sometimes the less you do at one time, the more focused and impactful you can be. You may have a list of 100 things to do, but do you really need to try and do them all today? Be reasonable about what you want to do and what you can do. Your mind and body will protect themselves from your zealous desires. When you don’t have sense enough to sit down and rest, your body will shut down. You take a huge risk that the shut down will be RIP for real!
SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO CLEAN OUT YOUR DOWNLOADS!
My computer was also sluggish because its memory was overloaded. We “download” millions of megabytes of data in our heads each day. We are inundated with information from all kinds of digital places—emails, social media feeds, text messages—whatever information you want, there’s an app for that! It is the best of times and the worst of times for getting information. You can literally be notified 24/7 about the latest happening in entertainment, sports, news, work, your friends, and the list goes on and on. As information is downloaded, it must be processed. What do you do with all of that information? Where does it go? How does it help you? How does it add value? Not only do we download the information, but we also download the message. Sometimes it is a good message and other times, it is a message that brings us down. There are days when my social media feed is just downright depressing! News of tragedy. News of discord. News of hatred.
And then there is the drama. One thing that I have learned is that I have the power to decide what I download and what I don’t. Literally. Most of the information what we get, we must first subscribe to. This means we have the power to unsubscribe. Some of the information is not necessarily harmful, but it makes life noisy. Here’s another revelation, you are not required to open everything that is sent to you. 90% of my personal email list is deleted unread! Just junk in your feed!
There is a freedom in controlling what gets your attention. I am easily distracted without electronic intervention. I call it my insatiable curiosity, but I am really just nosey. I love knowing what’s going on! But if I am undisciplined in my need to know, I will be up on all the latest information and behind in what really matters. So I have to turn off my notifications. I find that I really don’t miss anything. We also need to unsubscribe to social media, people and groups that don’t add value. And you can unfriend without dramatic announcements, by the way. If you have to announce how lucky your friends are to make the cut, they really aren’t that lucky. Finally, there are some people and apps that you just need to block. Don’t even allow them to be a part of your life.
SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO EMPTY YOUR TRASH!
The last reason that my computer was slow as Methuselah was my overflowing trash file. Once I “deleted” unnecessary downloads, all of those files went into my trash. As a result, I had duplicates of large files and other unnecessary files taking up space on my hard drive. How many times are we harboring memories, grudges, pain, hurt, and relationships that are taking up space in our psyche and slowing us down? When you hold on to trash, it pollutes your thinking, contaminates your spirit, corrupts your mindset, and prevents your healing. In order to be truly free from your past, you must literally empty out your trash. Forgive so that you can release yourself from the bondage of decay. You may not forget what happened, but you can remove the negative association and empower yourself with a vision of the victory not a focus on the defeat. In every defeat, there is a victory—the survival thrival. OK, that’s not a real word, but you get the point. Thriving is the powerful moment beyond just existing, and the emergence into blooming where you were buried. Instead of a sad story, you have a great testimony. So empty the waste and make room for the new!
The biggest lesson learned from my computer that day was the fact that most of the issues that hold us back or slow us down are self-generated or totally within our control. You have absolute power to determine what and who you allow to influence you. You have absolute power to determine how present you are by removing distractions. You have absolute power over your past to move beyond surviving disappointment, defeat, and derailments to thriving. You have absolute power to remove negative thoughts from your head and release toxicity. You have absolute power to decide how you are going to seize the day without being crushed by unreasonable expectations or pursuit for perfection or meaningless experiences that don’t add value to your life or anyone else’s.
Computers have a power button for a reason. Maybe yours is trying to remind you of a power that you have abdicated and one that you need to fully embrace.
You’ve got the power!
Stephanie D. Barnes is an attorney, author, speaker and career strategist. She can be reached at stephanie@drstephaniedbarnes.com or visit www.drstephaniedbarnes.com.