In my practice, I often see clients who are in crisis. The recent COVID-19 pandemic and recent world events have left everyone’s sense of stability and temper on edge. Whether it is a divorce, the death of a family member, a family member with dementia, a financial crisis or a family fight, inflamed emotions often are involved. So, when considering what I wanted to address here, I decided on three self-help platitudes that will fit almost any situation.
• First, you are not alone — even in solitude. Don’t think you are the only one falling apart or having a crisis. Know that whatever you are going through, you are far from the only one — especially if you are in the midst of a divorce.
After the COVID-19 pandemic and resulting lockdown, the prediction is that we may see the largest single-year divorce increase in decades. So, whatever you are experiencing or feeling, plenty of people are right there with you. There may be solutions that are easier than you realize and people willing to try to guide you or direct you toward help.
• The second platitude is a variation on the old adage, “It doesn’t matter how many times you get knocked down; what’s important is that you get back up.” The adaptation is, “In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.” Remember that we all have been scarred, broken and knocked down, but what’s important is what happens next. After the initial shock of a family crisis, we must clear our heads and decide what to do.
• The third platitude is a practical reminder that you should dance like no one is watching, but text and email like it will be copied in large print and read aloud in court. When people are in crisis, they initially strike out in anger and naturally want to retaliate. The old rule that it is best to “count to three” and calm down applies especially in this world of social media. Once you have sent a text or email, even if you delete it later, it is out in the universe and can later reappear.
Kathy Brown van Zutphen of Coastwide Law LLC is an attorney licensed to practice law in Alabama and Mississippi. She focuses on the “elder law” areas of trusts, estates and conservatorships. Additionally, she litigates lawsuits and represents small business owners as part of her legal practice. Visit https://coastwidelaw.com/ to learn more or reach her at her office: (228) 357-5227.
