Here you are, at the start of another year. As you reflect, are you any closer to taking more time for yourself?
Do you still:
- Step in to do things that others in your life are more than capable of handling — and should?
- Put yourself last when it comes to your available time and doing things that bring YOU joy and fulfillment?
Whenever I ask, “What have you done for yourself lately?”, I get responses that feature the common themes of hesitation, shame, excuses and regret. Digging deeper always reveals factors that may be holding someone back.
And guess what? There are always things you could do differently, such as:
- Dropping something from your “to-do” list.
- Shifting your priorities.
- Setting boundaries about access to you or your time.
- Learning that “no” is a complete sentence. Let that sink in.
SANDY’S STORY
Sandy’s story is a prime example. She was a busy executive who had worked hard and avoided anything that could jeopardize her title or standing at her company. She was very proud of her career success and had a happy and fulfilling home life with her husband and children. Once she’ met all her personal and professional demands, she had nothing left for herself.
She wanted me to guide her and hold her accountable — and she started to question everything. She faced her fears of letting go a little bit at her company, realizing there was a way to do that without sending a signal that she was “pulling back” and would be less effective in her role. She also started asking her family to pitch in to take on some of the duties that she had convinced herself were hers and hers alone.
She was motivated to make these changes because we first worked to identify what she wanted to incorporate into her life that was missing. Now that she was able to define what was missing, she couldn’t wait to make time for these personal experiences that would make her feel more energized.
Can you see yourself in Sandy? Do you have some of the same excuses for not putting yourself first? See if these sound familiar:
- “When I get through this project at work, I will have more time to focus on me.” However, the projects keep coming, and your “me time” will never materialize naturally.
- “When my family gets through the holidays (graduation, wedding or partner’s new job adjustment, fill in the blank), I’ll finally be able to focus on the things I want to do.” Trust me, there is always another diversion around the corner that will consume you if you let it.
Bottom line, by Sandy defining what she wanted to incorporate into her busy life, things that would make her feel happy and fulfilled., she found it easier to say “no” to requests that robbed her of the time to pursue those opportunities. She also could treat her personal goals and experiences like she would her company’s. She would define them and lay out the action items to get there.
